


Don't Leave Me With Lost Memories

by Birdflash_Smercy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Cigarettes, Drinking, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of Angst, M/M, Minor Jean/Eren - Freeform, Smoking, Some Fluff, Underage Drinking, ereri, the feelz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-08 10:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7753543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdflash_Smercy/pseuds/Birdflash_Smercy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I used to believe, just like everyone else, that my memories would always be a part of me. Because memories are supposed to shape who you are, the things you're afraid of, the things you like, the people you love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

     Memories are probably the one thing no one really thinks about. And people think about a lot of things that you wouldn't even think they would think. But hey, there's even more thinking for you.   
     The thing about memories that makes people forget them, is that they are always there. Just sitting in your head, waiting to be used and remembered. I used to believe, just like everyone else, that my memories would always be a part of me. Because memories are supposed to shape who you are, the things you're afraid of, the things you like, the people you love.  
     I believed I would always have that part of me, that I would always be complete.

     I was wrong.


	2. Broken Glass (What is Love?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry...only about 1,000 words. I think I'm getting better about length, though. Editting sucks because I am a bad editor and have no beta. Bleh.

     My eyes opened to behold an assortment of medical equipment. At least, that's what I thought it was. And the thing I was laying on...a bed? Everything in the room was unfamiliar, but somewhere deep inside my mind I knew what they were. It was like all the things I used to know got locked up, but certain bits of information would leak out when I needed them.  
     My vision was blurred, so I failed to registered the person-shaped blob of color beside the bed.  
     The hospital bed.  
     Apparently the blob didn't know I was awake, in all likeliness due to my lack of movement, and began to lean over. I, very stupidily, still failed to recognize the fact that I wasn't alone until a strange man's lips were against mine. But everything was alright. I mean, I punched the guy in the jaw, but my vision had cleared. That was something, right?  
The stranger had raven black hair and steel gray eyes. He appeared a bit short and a bit shocked, with a little pissed somewhere in there.  
     "Sleeping beauty's awake!" Another stranger entered the room, a brunette with glasses and a long white....um...coat? Yeah, coat. I was huddled in the corner of the bed, hugging a pillow to my chest like a shield, when this newcomer arrived. That coat meant they were a....er...it's a 'd' word....dick? No. God, no. Definitely not the right word.  
     "Doctor?"  
     I sat there for a moment, hoping I used the right word. If anything, 'doctor' had to be closer than 'dick'.  
     "Well you don't have to say it like a question, Eren! You're best friend Hange will always be a doctor! A great doctor! A wonderful doctor! Never will anyone need to question my title! I'm very hurt that you w-Okay, what the hell happened to you, Levi? And why is Eren acting like someone was attacking him?"  
     "Who's Eren?"  
     Silence.  
     More silence.  
     Levi, as the doctor(Hange?) called him, smirked.  
     "You're real funny, Eren. I bet you really got Hange to think you had amnesia."  
     "I'm Eren, then? And what's amnesia?"  
     Hange, that was their(her?) name, laid their hand on Levi's shoulder.  
     "I told you amnesia was a possibility. And I don't think he's joking."  
     "Of course he's fucking joking. The little bitch is trying to freak us out. No fucking way he..." at this point the ravenette paused, a disbelieving expression on his face, "he didn't forget me. Hange, you guys planned this. I know you did."  
     "So...she's Hange, you're Levi?"  
     "Eren, stop."  
     "Stop....what?"  
     "Fucking stop."  
     His hands were on my shoulders now, because god he could move fast, and I was getting scared because he looked scared and his claws were digging into my shoulders and oh my god stopstopstop...  
     "It hurts!"  
     Levi's grip loosened after I shouted, and he backed away slowly, visibly shaking while Hange looked like she was going to cry.  
     "I think you need to take a break. Why don't you go get some tea from the cafeteria?" Hange suggested, already leading the ravenette to the door. He only gave a dispassionate nod, disshelved and shellshocked  
     "So...I'm Eren. He's Levi. You're Hange. You're a doctor," I stated, trying to process everything. Hange nodded, smiling softly.  
     "Yeah. Eren, I need you to tell me what you remember. Can you do that?"  
     "Um...I know the names of things if I think about it."  
     "That's good. Do you know what the things do?"  
     "If I concentrate."  
     "Alright. I'm going to show you some pictures of people, and I want you to tell me if you recognize them."  
     "Okay," I reply as Hange pulls out a little rectangle. It's blue. Suddenly it lights up and I realize it's called a 'cellphone'.  
     "Hange?"  
     "Yes, Eren?"  
     "What's amnesia?"  
     Hange paused for a moment. They took a deep breath before answering, and even then their tone was unsteady.  
     "Sometimes, when people hit their head really hard, they lose their memories. That's what happened to you, Eren. You were in a car crash."  
     "What are memories?"  
     "Well...memories are the things you remember, like things that happened to you, or things you did. You have memories about objects."  
     "Oh."  
     There were a few moments of awkward silence before Hange showed me a picture of a blonde man. His hair was brown in the lower regions, and his eyes were a lighter shade of the same color.  
     "Do you know this man?"  
     "Yes."  
     I suprised both myself and Hange, who immediately took interest.  
     "What's his name?"  
     "I-I don't know...I'm sorry, Hange."  
     "It's alright, Eren. This is Jean Kirschtein. You guys fight a lot, but I think he secretly likes you."  
     "He seems nice. I like him too."  
     "Well, Eren, I meant that he like, er, loves you."  
     "What's love?"  
     "Love is when you really like someone. You hold hands and hug and kiss and..."  
     "Sex."  
     "Well, one less awkward explanation for me!"  
     The next picture was a blonde with blue eyes.  
     "I know him, I think. It's an 'A' word."  
     "Very good! This is Armin Arlert. You guys have been friends since you were little. It's always been you, Armin and Mikasa."  
     "Who's Mikasa?"  
     "This is," Hange replied, holding up their cellphone so I could see the picture better.  
     The girl had black hair and eyes. She was kind of pale, and had on a red scarf. Actually, she was sorta scary. But nice.  
     "She kinda looks like Levi."  
     "They're distantly related."  
     "He kissed me. Are we in love?"  
     "Yeah, you are. You live together in a nice little apartment. A lot of people give you crap because he's 30 and you're only 19, but it's perfectly legal and all your friends don't give a shit, because you two are freaking adorable."  
     Hange just sat there smiling for awhile, and I stared out the window. My gaze snapped back towards the doctor as they got up, stuffing the cellphone in some random pocket.  
     "I'm going to check on Levi. You gonna be okay?"  
     "Yeah."

     I was not okay. As soon as Hange left, I fell apart. Tears streamed down my face as I choked back a sob. How could I possibly have been fine? I didn't know who I was. I didn't know the names of my friends, couldn't recognize the man I loved, hell, I didn't even know my own name.  
     Everything I ever was and ever would be was gone. Shattered and scattered around like pieces of broken glass, but I couldn't afford a new window. So I had to glue together what I could and throw away everything else.  
     Just like broken glass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like it? Once again, the plot is vague(although I admit I've spent more time working on it) and I would love ideas, even small ones.  
> Also, Levi won't be brought in as the narrator for awhile. I want to really emphasize the fact that Eren cannot remember any of his relationships or experiences beyond common objects and their uses. He believes that this makes him a different person than what he was before, and that will cause....ANGST! Mwahahahaha! I am so evil....ok well no.
> 
> Love,  
> Birdie <3

**Author's Note:**

> Suspense! This is my first full story, as in not just a bunch of oneshots that are sorta-kinda-connected. It's written from Eren's point of view with a bit of Levi mixed in. The plot is pretty vague right now, so feel free to give me ideas.
> 
> Love,  
> Birdie <3


End file.
